Lead Like Jesus?

I saw this book on a co-workers desk and had to wonder what a book with this title would be like. Here's the rough outline I plan to send to my publisher:

How to Lead Like Jesus
by Scott Ferguson author of Cooking with Buddha

Step 1: Be God Incarnate - It really impresses 'em at staff meetings if you can turn the coffee in to mocha. Rising from the dead may be best saved for shareholder meetings.

Step 2: Surround yourself with 12 guys who are completely clueless about your goals and strategy. You can probably round up at least twelve from Sales.

Step 3: Speak in parables to maintain the pristine state of those you hired in Step 2. Can you imagine the memos?

Step 4: Assign a PR guy in Damascus to try and straighten it all out after you "retire".

** Okay, I haven't actually read Lead Like Jesus. It is by the same author as The One Minute Manager. Since I barely held my lunch through three chapters of The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People and only by some miracle actually finished Who Moved My Cheese, I think I would rather spend my money (and time) on a double latte half-caf while writing snarky blog entries.

(Originally posted on myspace)

Then get you a shovel ...

Go to your broker and, very calmly, cash in all your mutual funds and IRA investments. Place the crisp bills in a plastic bag and proceed to your backyard...

From Paul Ferrell's article at MarketWatch.com

Harvard Business School Prof. Max Bazerman was speaking to a conference of 75 Wall Street big shots, guys commanding six- to seven-figure incomes for managing your money. Bazerman opened by auctioning off a $100 bill. Simple rules: The highest bidder gets $100. And the second highest pays what he bid, but gets nothing. Forty hands quickly pushed the bidding to $95. Then an institutional money manager and a pension-fund trustee broke the $100 barrier, where both were guaranteed losers.

Imagine: Two of America's financial geniuses caught up in a hotly contested duel, pushing the bids up, up, up ... to $465! Bidding $465 for a $100 bill!

If you've ever doubted that investors are dominated by an irrational rat brain the professor adds this scary observation: "I've played this game perhaps 600 times, and I've never seen the bidding stop below $100." Yikes! The best and brightest managing our $8.3 trillion mutual fund industry are just as irrational as the rest of America's 95 million average folks who trust them with their money.

... Then, get you a shovel and dig a great big hole and throw your money in. Fill in the hole and plant geraniums on top. (NB: Do this at night while your neighbors are asleep)

(Originally posted on myspace)